When my friend called me asking on tips on how I manage to get house work done along with an energetic-ever-demanding toddler, I felt on the top of the world. Wow, somebody is actually seeking out help from me. Doesn’t that feel good? But then the truth hit me hard. Who says I get things done along with my baby? Who says that I can help anyone at all when in truth, I am the one in need of help?
I think it’s physically and mentally exhausting to raise a toddler, whose main aim when he wakes up is ‘I am going to explore everything I can today, even if it means driving my mother mad’. I can actually feel my energy draining by 10 a.m. every day when I try to pump myself with energy as I try to play with my toddler and I think ‘Wow, I actually have the rest of the day to kill’. It’s not easy at all. But then, I wonder, how did people before me manage to do it at all? They are still alive, aren’t they? My parents are alive. Sometimes, I wonder how do other people manage to do it all?
I’d like to think that, nobody does manage to do it all, (if they do seem to make the whole thing appear easy and rosy, it’s important to stay away from them for your own heart’s good, lol, just kidding but honestly, that’s annoying to know). I’d like to believe, that as mothers, we can only survive it by taking it, one day per day.
Of course, I hear people telling me all the time, boys are harder to deal with than girls. I get scared at that thought but then I think – why should it be that way? Both genders comes with their own set of tantrums. I think parents of both girls and boys go through the challenges, except that they are different.
What helps me, I have realized, is getting an outlet. An outlet is a great thing, it can keep you sane and also help you get through each day. It can be anything. For me, it’s a movie, or hitting for a walk or getting a foot massage (that’s sounds, wonderful, doesn’t it). In short, treating yourself can actually do wonders, giving yourself small rewards lets you motivate and brace yourself for what comes next. Because we mothers are working really hard. It doesn’t matter whether somebody appreciates you or not, but it’s really important that as mothers, we care for our feelings as well.
Once in a while, giving yourself a treat is a good thing, like actually rewarding yourself. It works for me. At the end of the day, when I look at my toddler, I don’t like to cringe my face at the thought of what may come the day after. In fact, I want to actually look forward to what surprises are stored in the day that follows.
Often, I look upon google or talk to other mothers looking for ideas on how to actually have carefree phase with a toddler. From time to time, I have realized this- no amount of ideas or tips can guarantee a smooth motherhood phase because as the saying goes – every baby is different. You just have to listen to your own to understand him better.
Anyway, my point is, I don’t think that it’s possible to have an entirely smooth motherhood. The boat does get rocky at times but we have to hang on and really take good care of ourselves. Our dreams and thoughts matter- it’s important that we protect them as we sail along with our babies.
I still have a long journey ahead of me. Simply can’t wait to look what’s in store. Mothers out there, a big shout out for you because you’re doing a great job. Pat yourself and get going.