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The dark truth about MOTHERHOOD that nobody wants to talk about

For starters, I never wanted to write about this topic. Writing about it would mean ripping my heart open, exposing my deepest fears out into the world. Yet, I decided it was time to talk about it when another woman decided to kill herself instead of simply talking about it.

Here is her story- Allison Goldstien, a 32-year-old teacher who was a new mother to a 4-month old baby girl. She had everything going for her, she was beautiful, talented and a great human being. One day, out of the blue, she decided to kill herself. Nobody saw it coming but it is said that she was a victim of PPD- Postpartum depression.

When I discussed it with my mom, she blinked – what has depression got to do with being a mother? For someone, who has had an easy motherhood, it is hard to grasp the concept of PPD being very real. Though it is being widely discussed in the US as being a real disease, India is yet to accept its existence. Since ages, it is assumed that because Indian mothers are always helped to care for her newborn, the chances of her slipping into a depression are slim to none. The Indian culture of having family for support is by far the most grateful gift a woman can ask for.

Yet, there are cases where new moms are undergoing through PPD silently and most of us push through the pain. Nobody talks about it for fear of being judged, for fear of being guilty, for fear of being a bad mom, for fear of feeling inadequate. We don’t want to admit that there are times when we simply want to walk away from everything only to get our minds clear. I have had a few moms discuss with me about how depressing their lives are and how scary it is to admit to oneself the truth of living a monotonous life.

There have been times when I have been terribly scared to care for this little human being, there have been times when I have simply wanted to curl into ball and hide, there have been times when I have simply wanted to talk about my fears to someone. In fact, I have wrestled with feelings of hopelessness on a number of days. Thanks to a wonderful husband, supportive family and darling friends, I have never been an emotional wreck.

Do these feelings make us bad moms? No, it doesn’t. The fact that we are being judged from day one of our motherhood, tells that we are already under lot of pressure as we strive to be the perfect parent. Sadly, life isn’t a series of smiling photographs that we post on social media. Life, is much more than that.

Sometimes, a mom just needs help. There is simply nothing wrong in asking for help. It doesn’t make her a weaker person to ask for help. It doesn’t mark a sign of weakness to talk about fears. But for long, we have been told not to confess our feelings because it is assumed that moth
erhood should be a wonderful phase which has to be celebrated by all means. Though it is the most beautiful phase for a woman to live in, there are these bouts of depression that sometimes loom over moms. If you have been lucky to get help, it is the greatest gift a mother can hope for.

If you or anybody else is going through a tough time, please reach out for help. Be aware that you are a strong mom, always wishing the best for her child. It is a mark of strength to ask for help. 

About the Author : Chital Mehta loves to explore new books. After becoming a mother, she started this blog to share her experiences as a mother. Apart from being busy with her baby, she makes times for writing, reading and watching movies. She has authored 4 fiction novels. You can find details on her facebook page :Chital Mehta facebook

Write to her : chitalmehta1987@gmail.com

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