About Me

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Hi guys out there! Well, stories have been my first love because they make life. We all have stories to talk about, stories untold, stories locked in our hearts. I have been writing stories ever since they influenced me. Here I am with three fiction novels in my kitty. If you have a story you want to talk about, you can always write to me. Here you'll find my blog posts too which are sometimes funny and stupid because I choose to write what prevails within me. About me on a personal note: I love to write at any time. Some day, I want to be the person who creates a tiny difference in the book world. Apart from that, I do have common interests just like anybody else with an extra tint of passion for books. You can always write to me here chitalmehta1987@gmail.com or check my website here - www.chitalmehta.com

Saturday, December 10, 2016

My bluish black eye

There is so much that happens in a toddler’s world; if looked from the outside, it resembles something like a strand of web that weaves into forming a larger grid, with each passing day. In other words, a toddler’s universe expands almost every minute as he tries to explore, grasp, understand, react and surprises himself so often as he learns the ways of the world.

One of the things that my toddler has learnt to master is the skill of whacking. The first victim, being my husband who ended up with a bleeding finger after my toddler dug his teeth deep only to see what a bite into human skin feels like. (Must be fun because it has occurred quite often). My mother has often been attacked by sharp nails across her face by my toddler who finds it extremely funny when my mother makes a face. (Cut those nails, already – note to myself) Fortunately, I had been spared from the violence for quite a long time (Perhaps, he knows that I am the woman in his life). Alas, it didn’t last long.

Last night, I received what I call the badge of honor for being his parent. It was a little past his bedtime, which is usually somewhere around 9 PM. Husband, me and toddler were in bed, in an effort to get the toddler fall asleep. A few minutes into the ordeal, for some reason, the toddler decided to hit me – face to face. I felt a stinging painful sensation around my left eye, which I began to rub furiously. And then I reminded myself – Mommy law – ignore yourself, look at baby first. So, I began to rub my toddler’s forehead, assuming that’s where he hurt himself. Meanwhile, I called out to husband to nurse my left eye which was beginning to turn sore. Ten minutes later, the commotion came to an end. The screams and cries had died down, with the only sounds of two boys breathing soundly and of the air conditioning that filled the room.

Quietly, I tiptoed out of the room to examine my left eye which was now swollen like a small bag of air. I pressed it gently, hoping that it would disappear the next morning. I forgot all about it as I hit the bed, until next morning, when I checked myself in the mirror, I found my left eye bulging out like a marble with the color of bluish black. I was reminded of the men who get beaten up in the movies, who end up with sore eyes. So, that’s what a swollen blue eye looks like, I told myself as I squinted with my right eye. My left eye was, temporarily, not being very helpful to perform basic tasks such as seeing because of the swelling. Thank God for two eyes, one can be the backup for a while!

I began to wonder about the changes motherhood had imposed upon me since the time I carried the baby in my belly – hair fall that never ceases to stop (But I know, no mom has ever gone bald after delivering a baby, so I can relax), my jeans don’t make it past my hips (Yikes, the fluctuating weight gain challenges my desire to slim down), sleep has become a relative term (I wonder how does it feel to sleep for 7 hours, uninterrupted – such a distant dream, I say), the occasional forgetfulness (the time I discovered my phone from the laundry bag), the likes that have transformed to a playlist of rhymes and board books (I miss the smell of a paperback novel!) and of course a million other things which I won’t bothering describing here because who remembers, anyways?

I have been told this over and over – “stretch marks are the mark of a real mother” So true! But hey, so is the bluish black eye!

 I wonder if they’ll add it to the list. Hmmm. 

Saturday, November 26, 2016

My obsession with the unthinkable

I have been obsessed with a quite a few things in the past few years, songs, movies, books, mobile, TV shows… just the basic usual stuff. A few weeks back, I wrote a post where I question my obsession with my toddler, for which I still don’t have the answer. But now, I discovered that I am obsessed with the unimaginable – TOYS.

Yes, you read that right! I had never thought my obsession list would ever include something so trivial. But I guess, once you have a child, nothing is trivial anymore. So, anyway, this thanksgiving, I convinced myself that my son MUST have toys that I think are necessary. But, my inner self tells me,
he doesn’t really demand anything.” I hear another voice, “Oh, he can’t live a toy less childhood. Besides, this is the age when he needs to be playing with toys.” And so began my endless search for “The deals” that claim to be selling the best of everything at an affordable, unbelievable price. I analyzed, researched, hunted for toys, which I assumed would fill my son’s days with bliss.

Today evening, when I learnt that the toys had finally arrived in the mailbox, I urged my husband to come along with me to collect the parcel. Perhaps, I had mentioned it more than a dozen times to which he asked – why are you so excited about toys, anyway? I didn’t answer the question right away. Instead, I ignored him and grabbed the parcel towards home, where I excitedly tore up the box that contained treasured possession – TOYS. I opened up one by one, handing them over to my son, observing him in great detail as he welcomed the new guests. I noticed that he wasn’t very interested in the toys because he abandoned them after about five minutes.

I stared at him in disbelief, my insides screaming at him. “What’s wrong with you? You’re a toddler, you’re supposed to be enjoying these toys. Did you read this? It says here that it can keep you engaged for hours together and you have been at it for less than five minutes.”

My son simply walked up to his little cardboard shelf, from which he retrieved a couple of library books asking me to read them to him. After we were done, he picked up his old, shabby ball, calling me for a ball game. Then he looked at me, as if trying to say the things I had not listened before – “This is what I want, read books, throw ball, head out for a walk, a drive with you and papa, play the silliest of games with you, beside me in everything that I do. I know you always walk towards the toy section of the store instead of the grocery section because you are constantly looking for toys to ‘update’ my skills. But I don’t want any of those because they are not as interesting as it is to watch airplanes fly above my head or play through the slide in the park or walk along the pavement where I get to see other people and their dogs or stare at people at the mall or enjoy watching other kids outside or play the chasing game with you or hear you and papa talk endlessly about things that make no sense to me or simply to play on the kitchen floor while you bang your head between chopping and washing and cooking. Once I turn five or six, I am going to have a huge list of demands. So, why don’t you start saving your money than spending it on your obsession about watching me play with toys?”

I was perplexed by this thought, wondering why I hadn’t thought of this earlier. Before I could dwell on it, my son was already pulling me towards the door as he dragged his stroller. He smiled at me as if saying, “The weather is beautiful outside. Can we put this toy episode behind us and enjoy for a while?"

I smiled back, knowing that I finally learning my lesson and getting over my obsession. 

Wednesday, October 12, 2016

Musings of a stay-at-home-mommy

Just a month after I had delivered the baby, one summer evening, I sat down with my husband and told him the words, “I’ll have to quit my job. I want to take care of the baby.” While I began to formulate responses inside my head to defend my point on why I thought it was extremely important that I stay home with the baby, in case he disagreed with me citing that it could be a handful if two people earned (the 21st century mantra), he looked at me and simply said, “Alright, sounds good to me. You can probably join back later when he is older. ”

I was relieved, largely comforted, that I would be able to cater to the needs of my LO right from home and not worry about breast pumping machines, bottles, scheduling my days, splitting my mind between working on my laptop and attending to my newborn, fighting with the guilt feelings of leaving my baby behind, or worrying about daycare settings and so on. As days rolled into months, we realized that I wouldn’t be getting back to work for a long time with my response being the same “oh, he is still a baby.” (The baby which is now close to being 19 months old but he surprisingly still remains my baby)

From time to time, I have been asked two questions, – “Do you miss being at work?” and “Do you enjoy motherhood?” The answers to both these questions are NO. I don’t miss being at work at all, largely because, I haven’t had much time to think about it. (My days are travelling at the speed of light where dawn and dusk rarely meet, they often get mixed up).

As for enjoying motherhood, what I have repeatedly heard is this – “Enjoy every moment while it lasts. He’ll grow before you know it. And then, you’ll miss all the silly things, even the things that annoy you now.” If I had my way, it is my secret wish to smack these people in their heads (no, I don’t mean that, literally). From what I know, I have not been able to enjoy every single moment of motherhood. For instance, I tried but cannot find joy in situations such as these:

  a)  I don’t remember the last time I slept through the night - was definitely couple of years ago. So, its 5 a.m., I am in deep slumber when the baby beside me is wide awake, ready to battle his day, banging me in the face like a rude alarm clock. (This happens 9 out of 10 times).
  b)   I am in the car for a 10 minute drive to the local library. My toddler screams his lungs out, as if he is in deep pain. I want to tell him to quieten up so that I can concentrate on the road. Obviously, he doesn’t get it. (Surprisingly, he stops crying the minute he is out of his car seat but he cries all the way back home when I buckle him up.
  c) I cannot visit stores anymore without a toddler who stops at every aisle to pick up something. He even smashes a few things. I want to scream at him but I don’t. The parent inside me is aware of people watching so I talk with him gently as I try to distract him out of the store. (Happens all the time since he learnt to walk)
   d)  No more visits to the restaurants since he started throwing up food all around from his highchair. He knows he isn’t supposed to do it but he loses fun if he doesn’t throw a tantrum. (I have learnt that carryout is a better option)
   e)  Diaper wars. Clothes wars. Food wars. No reason wars. It’s a normal thing for a toddler to assert his decisions. People say it gets better as the years pass on, of course, it’s a long way to go. He is growing, learning, grasping, exploring, discovering – wow, that’s exhausting me already.

I have realized that parenting is 95% hard (I have no idea what the other 5% is, easy is not the word) for a person like me, who has to constantly discipline herself, learn the art of being patient, understand that it’s just the way babies are, know that I am not the only one who has had a baby. (Apparently, a lot of people have been through having a baby at least once in their lifetime).

Instead of hearing the phrase ‘Enjoy every moment’, what I would really love to hear is this,

 It is sometimes hard, probably often, to go through day by day the same things over and over, reading the same books, visiting the same places, having constant baby talks, worrying about the same things, worrying about the future, missing a lot of things but the best part is hidden in those fleeting rare moments such as – the touch of a newborn that feels like lotioned tissue paper, the baby smiles that are revealed when you catch them during their sleep, the small accomplishments that feels like heightened sense of triumph, the babbles that make no sense at all yet meaningful in their own way, the bliss of being hugged by a toddler, the sight of watching your spouse bonding with the baby, the luxury of having a few extra minutes to snuggle with the baby every morning – It is, but, living in these priceless moments, that the point of it becomes clear.

I am glad, terribly glad, that I chose to be a stay-at-home mom despite being occasionally asked if I would ever return to work at all (Ahem, am I not busy enough right now?), or isn’t being home with a toddler boring? (Well, that’s the thing, no time to ponder at all), you’re an educated woman wasting away (Uh, I know I went to college, I don’t have the amnesia).

There always is a choice. I guess our choices make us what we are. 

Tuesday, September 6, 2016

The dark truth about MOTHERHOOD that nobody wants to talk about

For starters, I never wanted to write about this topic. Writing about it would mean ripping my heart open, exposing my deepest fears out into the world. Yet, I decided it was time to talk about it when another woman decided to kill herself instead of simply talking about it.

Here is her story- Allison Goldstien, a 32-year-old teacher who was a new mother to a 4-month old baby girl. She had everything going for her, she was beautiful, talented and a great human being. One day, out of the blue, she decided to kill herself. Nobody saw it coming but it is said that she was a victim of PPD- Postpartum depression.

When I discussed it with my mom, she blinked – what has depression got to do with being a mother? For someone, who has had an easy motherhood, it is hard to grasp the concept of PPD being very real. Though it is being widely discussed in the US as being a real disease, India is yet to accept its existence. Since ages, it is assumed that because Indian mothers are always helped to care for her newborn, the chances of her slipping into a depression are slim to none. The Indian culture of having family for support is by far the most grateful gift a woman can ask for.

Yet, there are cases where new moms are undergoing through PPD silently and most of us push through the pain. Nobody talks about it for fear of being judged, for fear of being guilty, for fear of being a bad mom, for fear of feeling inadequate. We don’t want to admit that there are times when we simply want to walk away from everything only to get our minds clear. I have had a few moms discuss with me about how depressing their lives are and how scary it is to admit to oneself the truth of living a monotonous life.

There have been times when I have been terribly scared to care for this little human being, there have been times when I have simply wanted to curl into ball and hide, there have been times when I have simply wanted to talk about my fears to someone. In fact, I have wrestled with feelings of hopelessness on a number of days. Thanks to a wonderful husband, supportive family and darling friends, I have never been an emotional wreck.

Do these feelings make us bad moms? No, it doesn’t. The fact that we are being judged from day one of our motherhood, tells that we are already under lot of pressure as we strive to be the perfect parent. Sadly, life isn’t a series of smiling photographs that we post on social media. Life, is much more than that.

Sometimes, a mom just needs help. There is simply nothing wrong in asking for help. It doesn’t make her a weaker person to ask for help. It doesn’t mark a sign of weakness to talk about fears. But for long, we have been told not to confess our feelings because it is assumed that moth
erhood should be a wonderful phase which has to be celebrated by all means. Though it is the most beautiful phase for a woman to live in, there are these bouts of depression that sometimes loom over moms. If you have been lucky to get help, it is the greatest gift a mother can hope for.

If you or anybody else is going through a tough time, please reach out for help. Be aware that you are a strong mom, always wishing the best for her child. It is a mark of strength to ask for help. 

About the Author : Chital Mehta loves to explore new books. After becoming a mother, she started this blog to share her experiences as a mother. Apart from being busy with her baby, she makes times for writing, reading and watching movies. She has authored 4 fiction novels. You can find details on her facebook page :Chital Mehta facebook

Write to her : chitalmehta1987@gmail.com

Friday, August 19, 2016

my nocturnal adventures

It’s been a little over 24 months (counting the pregnancy days as well) since I had a night out, meaning a late night dinner, or a movie night or just a get-together post dinner. A million things change once a baby comes into a couple’s life. In fact, nothing is ever the same. Though I haven’t really found the time (a mom’s clock is now monitored by her baby) to actually ponder over such things, there are these quiet moments of ‘just me and my athletic mind’ in which I sit down and fret over the things that I miss. But I don’t really fuss for too long, because there is always “someone” who needs you almost 24/7 and I have to practically pull myself together every single day to cater to the needs of this little tiny human being who is now the center of my world.

Anyway, it so happened that this little human whom I shall call “anklebiter(AB)” because he really bites through anything these days ( his favorite, though, are humans). So, AB must have sensed that I was probably missing on a lot of things in my life and decided to give me a slice of adventure. Here’s how it started:

9.00 p.m.
AB yawns loudly letting everybody around know that he is now terribly sleepy and needs to be in bed right away. I am so glad to see this that I want to jump in glee (I think every mom waits for the minute her baby drops off to sleep).
9.30 p.m.
It takes a whole of 30 long minutes for AB to doze (whatever with those huge misleading yawns). Anyway, I tuck him under his favorite blankie and tiptoe outside the room to check on a few emails/catch up with friends/stare at nothing/browse for a movie….
11 p.m.
The house is eerily silent. I stifle a few yawns as I decide to slumber in my bed. My husband, who has already yawned ten times, is finally able to get his eyes off from his laptop and is now intently browsing on his cell phone (I am gonna hide that thing one day, I swear the same thing every single day).
11.15 p.m.
Me: It feels so good to be in the bed to be able to entertain these random thoughts inside my head which goes- oh, I should get my eyebrows done, I should pay my credit card bill, I should read that book, I should cook more broccoli for AB tomorrow….Husband is now fast asleep (bless the men who have empty minds)
I am just beginning to let sleep envelope me into a bear hug with my favorite comforter, when I hear soft cries. Okay, just tap him gently because that’s what google says.
Doesn’t work.
The cries are getting louder. Okay, diaper check – looks good. Temperature check – pretty cool. So, I continue tapping AB gently.
11.20 p.m.
The cries are getting louder and louder. Ignore him, I say, as I dig myself under the comforter, waiting for AB to get back to sleep all by himself. (Because that’s what google says).
AB – Is anybody going to carry me at all? Okay, so here it goes, I can cry louder than they think. Awwwwwwwww.
No response.
Louder. Louder. Louder. And louder.
11.21 p.m.
I throw away the covers and look at AB who is now screaming his lungs out. I give him this look, “You win, just like always” and carry him. I wake up my husband as well who is now pretending to be asleep. He grunts and groans and gets his sleepy head straight.
11.25 p.m.
I am convinced that AB is having a stomach ache. Yep, he definitely is hurting. (Who can doubt a mommy’s instincts?)
Grandma chirps in (who is also awakened by the cries),”Give him the gripe water. That’s what I gave all my babies.”
I pour the gripe water down AB’s throat. It’s got a nice flavor but he doesn’t like it at all.
Husband offers, “Give him the gas drops that the doctor gave.”
I nod as I pour down another few drops down AB’s throat.
AB: These people are nuts! I am not having a tummy ache, you crazy people. Let me just cry harder to piss them off. Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww..
11.40 p.m.
Me, husband and Grandma have tried all the tricks, played with all the toys to change AB’s mood. He smiles now and then but is still grumpy.
Husband says, excitedly (as if his brain is finally awake), “Car ride. That’s what he needs.”
Grandma says, “Good idea. I’ll stay back and rest. You guys should be going.”
11.45 p.m.
AB’s face is now bright and happy. So that’s what he needed, a little fresh air, I thought as I entered the car in my pyjamas with bathroom slippers. Yikes, what am I doing?
11.50 p.m.
Husband (Once he is behind the wheel) – “Maybe he wants to hear us talk. Let’s keep talking about random stuff so that he falls asleep eventually.”
Me – Not a bad idea, I say, I always wanted to go on a late night drive and have romantic talks. Probably, this is it.
Thanks AB, I silently mutter. AB is now growing increasingly silent with each passing minute. May be he is going sleep now, I get my hopes really high.
12 a.m.
The music is on as we are now driving through the streets and chatting about things that are totally trivial. Hey, who cares? The baby is quiet.
Good music, night drive, long talks with partner with an on/off crying baby in the middle of the night. Who says I am not having fun?
12.10 a.m.
Okay, he is now definitely asleep. We continue chatting as we head towards home. AB probably sensed it because that’s when I began to panic. A baby waking up from sleep when you least expect is worrisome, leaving you unprepared.
AB (loudly crying) – Really? Talking for so long. I am so completely bored. Let me cry just to annoy them.
12.20 a.m.
AB has drifted off to sleep again in my arms as the car continued to move in circles. I let out a small prayer before the car comes to halt finally. Carefully, delicately, I carry a sleeping AB in my arms, reach the front door, reach the bedroom (Yay! He is sleeping), very gently, now I place him on his bed. There he goes, his eyes wide open.
Okay, so the adventure is not over yet, I sigh to myself.
AB: Wait, we’re home? Weren’t we supposed to sleep in the car? This is cheating. I am not sleeping anymore. I need the C-A-R. 
More screaming....
12.30 a.m.
Husband – I think he needs to watch his favorite rhymes. That’ll probably put him to sleep.
I quickly protest, explaining him the dangers of exposing TV to young kids.
AB: She is so obsessed with what she reads on the internet. I am just going to cry harder until she lets me watch my rhymes. It’s so much fun to watch them just after midnight. Sleep is boring anyway.
12.55 a.m.
AB has heard every single one of the rhymes with active interest, showing no signs of sleep. I march over and switch off the TV, signaling that it was time to sleep.
As expected, there were loud screeches and screams.
Grandma: You know what, maybe it’s the teething. His gums are probably hurting.
I am lost in thought as I over-analyze the situation (just like how I analyze every “baby situation”) – Google on symptoms of teething, get him a washcloth, get him a spoon, and get him a teether.
1.30 a.m.
AB throws every single item that I hand him to soothe his sore mouth. It wasn’t teething after all, I press my lips in disappointment.
Just as I set my mind on another trail of thought to examine what could be bothering my little toddler, he marches off into the bedroom, hops onto the bed, with an expression, “I am sleepy, let’s go to bed.”
Husband and I hurriedly join AB on the bed as we wait for our chance to embrace dear “sleep”
1.45 a.m.
The lights are off, the room is pitch dark, AB is fast asleep followed by husband who has also drifted off to dreamland. The adventure is finally coming to an end. I should also be dozing off any minute now.
2.30 a.m.
I am wide awake, have been trying to welcome sleep since I hit the pillow. Reportedly, “princess sleep” has decided to abandon me tonight!!!
In a few hours AB will be awake demanding my unflinching attention. I tell myself, shut your eyes and wait for sleep to come.
5.00 a.m.
I hear AB stirring slightly in his sleep as I hold my breath wondering if he’ll spare me this one time.
 So much for my nightly adventures!!!

Wednesday, July 13, 2016

Am I OBSESSED with my baby?

Have you ever felt that you’re losing your mind once you become a mom? Of course, most of us have felt that a dozen times. But has anything like losing things happened to you? Basically, I am not an extremely organized person but I do manage keep my possessions in place. I do end up searching for stuff inside my home most of the times but I always have important things in place, like my wallet, my cards, my mobile and the basic stuff like that.

But in the past year, I ended up misplacing things so badly that people around looked at me with a bewildered expression, “Are you really normal? Is this woman nuts?” with my husband telling me, “I should get myself checked.” I laughed at all the comments and went through living my life. Just recently, I dropped my debit card at a parking lot, unaware that I had lost it until I got a call from a random stranger to collect it.

As I drove to collect my lost card (which I hadn’t discovered until I got the call), I wondered for the life of me, how was I getting irresponsible. My mother commented, “Either you are obsessed with the baby or you are probably a lazy woman who cannot get her day organized.” I let out a small laugh denying that I wasn’t obsessed with my baby, I simply loved him too much. And I wasn’t lazy either, there were a list of things I got done in my day.

I made a list in my head. Things I lost over the past year which I miraculously found.

1.       My mom’s passport – we had been to a trip to Ashville and I somehow missed the handbag which contained my mom’s passport. Thirty minutes later, when we began a search in the same place. We found it!!! (Husband very angry, though).

2.       My Smartphone – We were at a mall doing some shopping. With the baby and a diaper bag, I lost my most prized possession, my new S6 on a couch. 15 minutes later, I began to hunt and there it was, untouched, waiting for me.

3.       My Smartphone (again) – we were returning from Vegas when we halted at a gas station for a break. Few minutes later, husband asks for my cell phone. I tell him, “I don’t know. It must be in the bag.” He dials my number and finds a stranger answering that he found it at the restroom of the gas station.

4.       House keys – we are at Costco. Once I tie my baby up in the shopping cart and hand him his favorite snack, I have no idea when the keys slipped from my hand. Back at home, I am hunting into my handbag when I realize my keys are missing. We drive back up to Costco and find them from a thoughtful human being.

5.       My debit card – after shopping at Dollar tree, rather pleased with myself for spending only $17 and having two large bags filled, I open my trunk and stuff the things inside. I buckle up the baby in his car seat and drive off, blissfully unaware that I had just dropped my card on the ground. Two hours later, I get a voicemail that tells me my card is with them and that I can collect it. I hunt inside my purse and find that, my card is indeed missing.

I   I am terribly glad that all the things have somehow been returned to me but I can’t help wondering why I manage to lose stuff. I wondered if I could be obsessed with my baby, without me realizing it.So, I made another list of what goes into my head during a typical day.

     My hazy, blurry thoughts.
  1.         Get up in the morning. Brush and decide baby’s menu. What will he like to have for breakfast?
  2. ·         Baby awake. Play with him, brush his teeth and try stuffing him with food.
  3. ·         An hour later, again try to feed him something because he must be hungry.
  4. ·         My mom explains, “You need to give him time before he gets hungry. He needs to digest food to be able to eat.”
  5. ·         I nod at her in agreement. Few minutes later, I am secretly feeding him bits of food which he spits out instantly.
  6. ·         Give baby a bath, apply cream, apply oil, comb his hair and dress him up.
  7. ·         Check his diaper every one hour.
  8. ·         Give him water which he spits out, give him some fruit which he spits out.
  9. ·         Let him wander around. Keep an eye on him as he puts random things into his mouth.
  10. ·         Switch off the TV because article says TV spoils baby. My mom says, “Try to be realistic. A little TV won’t kill him.”
  11. ·         I don’t agree and spend all my energy in reading books and playing with all the toys. In short, compete with TV.
  12. ·         Lunch time – try to stuff food into this mouth which he throws out. I get pissed and angry.
  13. ·         Few minutes later, I calm down and try feeding him again because he needs to have his greens and pulses. Sometimes, baby co-operates. Other times, he drives me mad.
  14. ·         Before baby naptime – I am desperately waiting for him to sleep so that I can relax for a while.
  15. ·         After baby naps – I am constantly thinking, “oh, he is gonna wake up any minute. What can I get done before he wakes up?”
  16. ·         Once baby is up, stuff him with food, check his diaper, let him play for a while and repeat the process all over again.
  17. ·         Once we are out in the car, I am constantly throwing orders as I drive. “Give him a snack. Give him some water, give him his toy. Give him this….give him that….”

To make sure I wasn’t over doing it, I browsed Google (my good old pal) and found that a term called “Mommy Brain” existed. Pregnant moms and new moms end up forgetting things often because dealing with a baby can be overwhelming at times. Wow, I am surprised that the term exists.
For now, I am going to laugh it off because I am not an obsessed woman, I am merely in love with my son which most mothers are.

First things first, things to do on my list –

1    Let baby live his life.
2      Get a life of my own.

I wonder if that’s even possible, duh!

       About the Author Chital Mehta loves to explore new books. After becoming a mother, she started this blog to share her experiences as a mother. Apart from being busy with her baby, she makes times for writing, reading and watching movies. She has authored 4 fiction novels. You can find details on her facebook page :Chital Mehta facebook

Write to her : chitalmehta1987@gmail.com

Saturday, June 18, 2016

The “TOY” investment

After my obsession with clothing stores, I discovered my recent obsession when I stepped into a toy store. Within few minutes, my shopping cart was filled with toys which I fiercely believed will contribute to my toddler’s development and growth. I imagined my son playing with all the toys and claimed that he needed to have them, no matter what. Then my husband comes along and puts some sense into me telling that no kid needs so many toys to play with because we all know that kids get bored with toys eventually. I believed this for a long time but I recently realized this – “Toys are essential for babies and toddlers”. It’s the kind of toys that we provide them that matters. The “type” of toy and not the quantity matters.

So, I carefully looked at my shopping cart and decided that toy companies would do anything to lure us into buying toys that our children may not need at all. Since a few months, I have researched across the web often and also read a lot of reviews on what kind of toys do children really need. Also, there is money involved here. As parents, I think it’s important to understand where we are investing money when it comes to purchasing toys.

I am a firm believer in letting my toddler move around the house. So, I always look for toys that doesn’t let him remain seated for a long time as children need to be extremely active.  Here is my list of what let’s my child move often. I have also, ended up buying things that were not needed at all. In short, I bought the wrong toys but with experience, I am learning.

V- tech walker – this is an amazing walker, I bought this on the basis of a friend’s suggestion. My son loves it even though he has mastered the skill of walking months earlier. I think it’s a great toy for kids to move around and be in motion.

Fisher price corn popper- I wasn’t really keen on this one but I decided to give a try. I even considered returning if my son wasn’t really using it. Eventually, he started enjoying pushing it around as it’s fun to hear the balls popping inside the toy.

Step2 duck pond water table – I purchased this one on a deal from Toys R us. I really needed something to beat the summer heat as it becomes hard to keep a toddler occupied indoors without television. This is a great product because kids love to play with water. There are many versions of water table which I will be exploring in the future.

Toy stroller – I am a big fan of this stroller as it’s extremely cute. My son loves to push it around the house with a doll seated in the stroller. It also lets him stay in motion for a long time. It’s cheaper at Toys “R” us than amazon.

Pull along toys – I think pull along toys are fun for kids as they love to pull along almost anything as they walk around. I didn’t have to really research because I got a couple of them as birthday gifts which are amazing. There are so many pull along toys out there that it can get really confusing to pick. But parents will know what’s best. Sing along toys are also a great add on as they let kids to be familiar with music.

bubbles – Children are fascinated with bubbles. I usually use them when my son gets really cranky as it a great way to distract him.

Board books- Being an ardent reader, I have been reading to my son from day one. Today, he favors at least 5 to 6 books and cannot go without reading them even a day. We read together the same books over and over because babies and toddlers love to hear familiar stories. I am amazed at the collection of board books that are out there in the market. I usually pick books after reading reviews posted by other customers.

Balls – No surprise here. Balls are a great way to have fun time with kids as it lets them move around everywhere. The downside to this is that you also should be extremely active as ball play needs company.

I would love to hear from other parents on what kind of toys allow children to be active without the need of being dependent on screen time.

Sunday, June 5, 2016

Diary of a toddler

At 15 months, the world around me seems so big and exciting. Did you know how fun it is to watch ants crawl by? Did you know it’s fascinating to chase shadows? Also, it’s amazing to stare at the fan rotating. Do you know it feels awesome to run barefoot on grass? I am simply in love with footwear. I always want to touch them but mommy doesn’t let me. There is something mysterious about it. I know these things don’t excite you because you’re an adult. Most things are boring for an adult. Anyway, that’s not my concern.

At 15 months, all I really care is about running about and discovering my abilities. I can walk and run with my two legs. That’s my biggest achievement so far. It’s also fun to watch my mommy and daddy run behind me, trying to get hold of me. I have seen my mommy gasping for breath, asking me to stop and just take a nap so she could relax. I feel sorry for her but there is really nothing I can do about it. I am a toddler. Being adventurous comes naturally to me. Really, I don’t really plan on bugging her or making tantrums to annoy her. I just end up doing what I feel like and I have made her cry couple of times. She doesn’t get time for herself, poor lady. But that’s fine, I’ll be a grown boy few years from now and she is going to miss all this fun so much. So, I am just going to make the most of it and fill her life with just ME. Of course, daddy is a part of her life too but right now, I am the priority. You might think I am selfish. One look at me, I am sure you’re gonna call me cute, adorable and cover me in kisses. I have that effect on people. Ha ha!

At 15 months, I am having lot of food battles with mommy. She talks about this with other mommies all the time complaining about how little I eat. And they say the same thing about their babies too. And I know how deeply it concerns mothers when their babies don’t just eat. Trust me, we try really hard to eat but somedays, food is the last thing on our minds. There is so much energy that we don’t have the time to sit down for food. Also, somedays food is so boring. Mommy cooks the same thing and expects me to gulp down. I have taste buds too and I have preferences too, just like her! She doesn’t get it at times and ends up in a battle fight with me. Lately, she has learnt to understand that I can actually go without food at times. But I mostly prefer finger foods, because it’s so much fun to feed yourself than having fed by spoon. Sometimes, I nibble on slices of fruits, veggies and anything that I can get my hands on. Mommy does so much research to buy different varieties of food. I want to tell her, I am a simple baby, don’t complicate me too much. I really can’t explain her much because my words are just blah to her.

Anyway, I don’t care. If I don’t feel like eating, I am not going to eat it. Period. She should get the message instead of forcing me to eat. Also, she worries so much about my weight. What she doesn’t know is this – we toddlers are not really concerned about putting on weight because there is so much to discover. On the other hand, there are some days when we really love the taste of food. I wish my mommy could stop worrying so much about this whole food thing and simply let me enjoy my moments. I am sure she will understand me. After all, she is my mommy. She always does.
At 15 months, I realize that human beings are fascinating. It’s amazing to watch other people smile at me and I like to smile back at them. Sometimes, I don’t really get much of a response because most people are busy looking at a screen. Mommy calls it a mobile and never lets me touch it. I wish people smiled and talked to me more often. But that’s okay. I am a baby and I forget things so soon that these things hardly matter.

At 15 months, my world is growing bigger and bigger. Of course, mommy and daddy are always going to be part of it but my world is expanding every single day. I am growing so fast that it’s so hard to stop running. I know I am going to become like daddy one day but I will always remain mommy’s little baby.

Alright then, I have to head for a bath with my favorite bath toys and then struggle with mommy for an hour to fight off food and then head for a nap and then wait for daddy to get home. So much to do!!!

See you all soon.

Saturday, April 23, 2016

For the fatherly men out there…

While I have written a lot about parenthood that solely talks about mothers and babies, I have overlooked the involvement of fathers. Just as women step into motherhood with a whole new set of transformations, so do the men. But it’s easy to blame them, because they don’t seem to be able to process the simplest of things that women tell them. Yeah, just read further…

My husband has been near about perfect and with acceptable flaws, you know how it works, both the partners’ flaws go hand in hand, kind of like a balancing act. But once the baby came, I busied myself into my new role, studying the entire process of babyhood, keeping my wits intact for a demanding baby that seems to grow more demanding as he grows and worrying about his future every single day.

Where is the time to actually look at what the husband is going through? Immediately, after the birth of the baby, I don’t even recall if I had actually checked on how my husband was feeling or looking after himself for pretty good months. Of course, I wasn’t to be blamed. You can blame the baby,pah. Poor little thing, baby was just doing baby job. Crying, eating, sleeping and more crying.

So anyway, here we are, a year later, now entering the phase of toddlerhood after battling through babyhood. There were a number of scenic adventures, I must say. The other day, I was just making rotis for my groaning tummy while I asked my husband to keep a watch on my 13 month old son who would do anything to grab my attention. He just needed MOMMY. But I wouldn’t give up. I demanded that my husband be able to distract him for a while. Poor chap tried every trick but nothing pleased me because the baby was tugging at my legs.

That’s when I said, “How can you not know what to play with the baby? I play with him all day. Can’t you just take care of him this few minutes?” And that’s when the image of being a near-about-perfect-husband starts breaking. I wanted a husband who can look after the baby just the way I do.
And my complaints don’t end here….

“My friend’s husband takes care of the baby for a whole two hours. Why cannot you do the same?”

“You have to get creative and play with him. Use your ideas.”

“Just feed him dinner. Why can’t you have some patience?”

“I am doing all the house work and taking care of the baby as well. All you do is sit in front of the laptop and now the TV.”

“If he is crying, do something to make him stop. I am in the kitchen, can’t you see?”

So yeah, there it goes. I become the mad-screaming-lost-my-mind wife when I see my husband struggling to get a t-shirt across my son’s neck but lately he succeeded, what with umpteen failures. And then one day, he called up from work and said he would be late for dinner, probably not even for dinner time which meant I would be with the baby for a whole 12 hours from morning until night.

Now, now, don’t get me wrong. Just like all mothers, I love being with my baby, he is the apple of my eye after all. But getting off each other’s throats for a few minutes does a lot of wonders to both of us, which is when we are desperately in need of ‘DADDY’. But daddy doesn’t come home one evening.
It finally sinks into me how important a husband can be, and sometimes just his presence can help things move along. I know it’s easy to say ‘mothers are the first teachers for their babies’. But so are fathers, in their own way.

Daddy job –

1.       Hear all criticism from mommy and pass it through the other ear.
2.       Try hard to deal with the baby but baby can be uncooperative at times.
3.       Understand that mommy can be crazy a lot of times but she’ll be fine soon.
4.       Play with the baby in best possible way at least for fifteen minutes.
5.       Never comment on the food even if there is no salt in it. :P
6.       Listen. Listen. Listen. Mommy will be happy if you just listen.
7.       Never judge mommy’s parenting skills. It’s dangerous for you.

Well, for all the husbands who have turned fathers out there, I think you all are the best fathers and you deserve credit for whatever that is you do.

Cheers to the fathers and near-about-perfect husbands!!!

Monday, April 11, 2016

The hullabaloo of first birthdays!!!

First birthdays are always special. Mostly for adults though because the baby who actually has a first birthday doesn’t ever realize it and simply jumps into toddlerhood like any other day. Of course, the parents want to mark the occasion with as much happiness as possible by having a birthday party, crowds which only ends up with having a cranky toddler at the end of the day who has no idea why so many people are bothering and showering him with attention. But that’s just the way it is. First birthdays are always to celebrate all those special first times that the baby went through all his year.

But hey, what about the first times that the parents went through all the year? Why doesn’t anybody ever celebrate the first anniversary of parenthood?

Just like how the baby reaches his milestones each day right until his first year and so on – so do the parents, except that they are widely different from baby milestones.

Mommy-Daddy milestones –

1.       Mommy is surprised at what she looks in the mirror. She has no idea where is her waist. She doesn’t know how to lose all the baby weight but tells herself it’s okay.

Mommy doesn’t know how to breastfeed but tells herself she will learn.

  Mommy has no idea why her baby won’t stop crying. She asks herself, ‘I am a mommy. Why can’t I seem to get my baby calm down’? Eventually, she learns its okay for baby to cry.

 Mommy loses all her sleep. Mommy doesn’t remember the last time she wore make up.

 Mommy screams at daddy so often for no reason. But daddy understands that mommy can be crazy at times which is okay.

  Mommy thinks she has figured out her baby’s needs just when she goes bonkers and realizes there is so much she doesn’t know yet.

  Mommy gets bored of the baby talk that she makes with other parents but realizes that life changes. Baby talk eventually is a daily part of her life which she enjoys.

 Mommy tries hard not to compare her baby with that of her friends’ but tells herself that her baby is special with his own qualities.

 Mommy realizes that she has to discipline herself in order to bring up a disciplined baby which requires a lot of hard work.

 Mommy misses watching movies or going for long walks but tells herself, ‘one day, I’ll be able to do all of those things.’

Mommy doesn’t understand why she can’t manage to keep her house tidy for more than a day but understands it’s okay to be messy at times.

Mommy doesn’t always give importance to daddy because baby comes first all the time but daddy always understands because he knows mommy still loves him.

 Daddy is confused about what to do when mommy wants him to change baby’s diaper but he succeeds after failed tries. He eventually becomes an expert.

Daddy is puzzled when mommy screams at him so often when he isn’t able to calm the baby the way mommy does but tells himself that it’s okay and that he has his own pace to deal with the baby.

Mommy and Daddy don’t tell each ‘I love you’ more often but deep down, they have fallen in love with each other all over again. 

About the Author Chital Mehta loves to explore new books. After becoming a mother, she started this blog to share her experiences as a mother. Apart from being busy with her baby, she makes times for writing, reading and watching movies. She has authored 4 fiction novels. You can find details on her facebook page :Chital Mehta facebook

Write to her : chitalmehta1987@gmail.com